I have adamantly resisted cooking, and succeeded at not doing it, for the better part of my entire life.

  • While growing up, if mom wasn’t home to cook? I’d convince dad to take us out!
  • Once I could drive, I go out myself
  • Hungry in college? I’d go to the dining hall!
  • And for the past 6 years, I’ve either gotten take out, ate at the restaurant I work at, or my WONDERFUL man-friend would cook! The best part is HE LIKES TO!

I even messed up grocery shopping one too many times that for the last 4 years, I haven’t even had to do that, except on the rarest of occasions!

On the rare occasion I do cook, something usually gets burnt, someone is yelling (man-friend), someone (me) is usually crying and there is a very likely chance the fire alarm is going off.

After the Apple Pie incident of 15′ – where a pan was not placed under the pie and leakage occurred (do the math) I haven’t even touched the oven (except to clean it)…

When I decided to start the Whole 30, I knew I would have to cook for myself, as himself didn’t want to eat / cook this way… Fine, no problem, I need to make a change in my life and GODDAMMIT I am going to learn to cook.

On the very first day, I woke up and successfully made scrambled eggs with peppers and onions, cut an avocado (without cutting myself) and had some delicious cantaloupe.

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Good start right? YES!

Dinner…. Well that was another story. (Unfortunately I do not have any pictures as the whole experience was traumatizing).

Lets start with the recipe – an ambitious hash brown crusted veggie quiche….

Followed the recipe, which called for a spring form pan! WOOHOO I had that!

Prepped the shredded potatoes with the oil (per the recipe) oiled the pan and pressed in the potatoes and put pan in the oven.

Then I started to sauté the veggies…. And I Start. Seeing. Smoke. Cue the smell of burning, cue the billow of smoke as I opened the oven to see whats going on and cue yelling…

The scene unfolded much like this:

!!!!!!!!!!!!FIRE ALARM!!!!!!!!!!!
In case you didn’t already realize, the spring form pan wasn’t sealed (as it was cheap) and the oil leaked… There also wasn’t a pan underneath, because why would that be there????
MF: AH *Slew of Expletives* ( ARE YOU KIDDING ME???
(Attempts to turn off fire alarm, then pulls the whole thing down)
Other FIRE ALARM (upstairs)
MF: OH COMMON!!!!! *Slew of Expletives*

The scene unfolded from there in a fun yelling match with ended in me taking cooking lessons from the beautiful soul that is my aunt!

Since that fateful night, I have asked questions, learned and taken mental notes!

Thankfully we haven’t had a fire alarm incident (they’re still detached) since then…

Today however (and the fodder for this post) was I attempted to cook Bacon. Mama Bear gave me instructions on how to cook it in the oven and I followed them meticulously – even reduced time given that I saw it was cooking quickly! I like bacon on the crispier side, I was going to let it go 15 minutes… At 13 minutes, I smelt burning…. Immediately shut off the oven, and found this….


Solid first attempt and I mean I like it crispy…. But that is REALLY crispy.

Upside: I learned how my oven works and the speed at which it cooks!

The adventure continues! Stay tuned! Never a dull moment when it comes to Aly in the Kitchen!


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