I’m becoming a Cat.

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** This has been a bad week for me, but I know it might be THAT much worse for you, or others, so I am including the most adorable pictures of the cats, to add some joy to your day!** 

I hope that reading about my crappy week, might makes yours look a little better or bring some humor to it, as I am trying to do by writing this 🙂 

Smiling through the chaos! ❤ Much Love & Gratitude, 

Aly

Some weeks I really just wish I was a cat… Or a infant… You know, so I can sleep all day, be coddled, told how beautiful I am, where being chubby is a good or cute thing and when you cry, you’re fed!!

After this week, and as of today, Thursday, I officially resign from being an adult / human. I just can’t do it anymore. Can’t Human… Must Cat…

Dear World,

I hereby tender my resignation as an adult.

You will either find me on the napping, eating or playing on a playground.

Sincerely,

A.H.G

P.s. Please forward all mail to my tree-house…

20160811_230937398_iOSIf there was a thunderstorm this week, I would have been struck by lightening.

If I saw a pig fly, well it would just make sense…

If a black cat crossed my path, well. yea. ok.

You kind of know your week is going down a hill, at night, on black ice, when you start out the week by melting plastic in the oven!

I really only got better? worse? from there!

Now, one thing I probably don’t need to share, but will anyway since I am 100% honest and transparent here….

I. Ate. French Fries. Every. Day. Since. Last. Tuesday.

20160805_003104376_iOSWhatever. SOMEHOW, I haven’t gained weight…. So tonight I had a salad <inset laughing emoji> since I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself and 9 straight days feels like enough…. Or at least the third eye on my forehead says so…

So all french fries aside. I used food way too much for comfort this week, but you know what… sometimes Fish are Friends NOT Food.

Ok, Sorry, I got distracted by the thought of French Fries…

Anyway. I’ve been INSANELY busy this week, on top of it being the worst week ever, but I’ve powered through, kept my head down, tried not to talk to too many people and just hoped the week would end quickly so I could NOT human all weekend… Which wasn’t really working out, but it as a solid plan… Until last night.

Last night, while bartending, a HOT MESS of a woman came into the bar, VERY abruptly and almost aggressively. She requested a long island iced tea, and while i am grabbing a glass she throws down a red card and says…. “YOU FAILED!” …. UM what??? 

Me, being me the type A, Teachers Pet, Parent’s golden child, always aim to please, rule follower, was SHOCKED. 

Inner Monologue: “WHAT JUST HAPPENED? SHE CLEARLY DOESN’T LOOK 21, SHE DOESN’T EVEN LOOK 31… *scans face….* NOPE YOU’RE GOOD, THIS IS A JOKE… MUST BE A JOKE… WHAT THE FUCK! SHIT!!!!!”

20160731_193502478_iOSHot Mess then tells me I failed because I didn’t card her, to which I replied “Well, you don’t look 21…” and she retorted with that its under 30… I stopped myself there, since she looked about 40… She told me she needs my name and my manager and that she is from some commission… Go get Manager, who is just a shocked as I am and tries to reason with Hot Mess, who was INCREDIBLY rude to him… Hot Mess takes her BRA LESS, hot mess self and leaves.

*CUE THE WATERWORKS*

Not knowing what was going to happen, but knowing that when its the Liquor Commission, you get fired, I started to freak out… and of course this was the ABSOLUTE last thing I needed to have happen this week.

So did I keep myself composed and walk outside, into the kitchen or the bathroom?

NOPE….

I broke down, spilling MAJOR tears RIGHT IN THE MIDDLES OF THE BAR FLOOR.

In case you missed it, that was my dignity that just flew by…. 

20160811_115015324_iOSSo these weren’t just tears, these were hyperventilating, icing on the cake, sobbing tears…. Again. Right IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR….

Be Right Back, need to go find what’s left of my dignity…
I attempted to compose myself, figure out how to get back to work and begin devising a plan as to what i’ll do if I get fired (REALLY LOVE THE EXTRA INCOME)… When I am told by my co-bartender that he wouldn’t have carded her either and that NOTHING will happen. It will all be OK, and nobody takes these things seriously…

Oh. OK. Cool.

Pretty sure my co-bartender looked at so incredulously and backed away every so slowly thinking I was about to lose it… or go postal..

*Fast Forward 3 hours* Finished up the night, ate a burger (and of course fries) had more tequila (since it cures all) and went home to cuddle my boyfriend…. and by boyfriend, I mean my kitten. (Manfriend = Boyfriend /// Boyfriend = Dash, our tiny kitten)

These were just the major incidents, there were several other fun moments this week, like this morning, when I couldn’t get out the door because cats kept going into closets…20160801_112334808_iOS

*Remove cat 1 from closet, cat 2 goes into closet, Remove Cat 2 from closet, Cat 1 goes into closet…. AND REPEAT* <– I have a history of locking cats in closets, so I am EXTRA careful…

Finally got myself out the door, drove to the gym, walked into the gym. stood on a
treadmill, contemplated my life, left gym, drove home, stood in a cold shower for 15 minutes… Because SOMETIMES LIFE IS JUST TOO HARD!

So… Needless to say along with the other bullshit I am not getting into, because its too personal…. (trust me, when adding it to the above, and the kitchen incident from Monday.) … it’s enough reason to give up on adulting.

 

 

 

 

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