I turn 28 on Sunday. Which honestly, I don’t know if I’m super excited for or super scared for.
27, was a pretty crazy year with some incredible Highs and super terrible lows.
The love of my life asking me to *finally* marry him, celebrating our engagement party (this past weekend) with our family and friends, paying off my tax & credit card debt, planning our wedding, making a significant dent in the principle of my student loans (after reading the Total Money Make Over”, major birthday celebrations, a girls trip to Sonoma Valley, making some pretty incredible new friends and bringing home our second fur baby were among the highest of the highs, I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.
But there were also some of the lowest lows… There was uncertainty, stress, anxiety and depression. There was stress about money (when is there not) and the all consuming thought that I will NEVER pay off my student loans… There was the desire to have a mental breakdown when life & work got to be too much and at points throughout the year becoming a person I didn’t know, nor liked very much at all!
I became a bundle of stress, anxiety and depression – I put on weight, my skin broke out and I was all consumed by life, but mainly the fact that I was just waiting for the next step and had no idea or control over when it came… Wondering all the W’s consumed my thoughts, conversations, emotions and every little ounce of me…
Waiting to get engaged was one of the hardest experiences (yes I’m aware how fortunate I am) I’ve ever had to go through. As a TYPE A – uber planner, not knowing when, where, how nearly killed me… But in the end, it was SO FUCKING WORTH IT.
My best advice to those going through this currently… Hold out… The best guys take their time to truly think things through.
In hindsight, which is a bitch for always being 20/20, I am so very grateful he did it when HE and he alone was ready, because I know in my heart of hearts he wants to spend his life with me, just as much as I want to spend it with him and THAT is where my sureness and calmness comes from, the comfort of it all…
(When in doubt, hug something fluffy)
I am glad I never (truly) resorted to ultimatums (which wouldn’t have worked anyway, nor would I want to start my future as partners like that) and despite the fact that I couldn’t see it then, I am glad things unfolded as they did. Naturally, Organically, and right for US.
The minute we got engaged and A asked me to share the rest of his life with him, all the stress of the past year faded away. People began to tell me I looked “lighter” and was “glowing”… I seemed “Different” and “Calm”…
As a normally chaotic mess of a human, my best friend E, just last week told me I seemed “very calm” and while she didn’t want to question it, was slightly concerned… To which I replied, its a good thing, all feels right…
Which was all 100% true. Having that ring on my finger, hearing the words “Will You Marry Me” and the free reign to plan a wedding… thus taking the next steps towards our future gave me a sureness, certainty and a level of calm I can never explain. I TRULY believe I was meant to be married and having a partner to make life decisions with feels right.
Major Shout out to my Girlfriends, Mom, Aunt & Sisters for dealing with my chaotic self during this period of time. Being on the other side, I thank you for you being my sounding board and calming presence in my life.
Additional and even MAJOR Shout out to A, for whom STILL wants to marry me after seeing me at what I am pretty sure was my worst over the past 12 months… *Insert Rolling Eye Emoji*
So, as I approach the fateful day (June 25th) of turning 28, I say… BRING. IT. FUCKING. ON! Bring it ON! 27 was another year of true adult growing pains, and while at the end of each year, I feel I have a better handle on this whole ADULTING & life thing, I can honestly say after this past year, I’ve got this thing on lock down…. (but seriously though, I have no idea what i’m doing, I’m making it up as I go along… :)) . 28 is going to be the most magical, incredible and LIFE CHANGING year… I can’t wait to see what it has in store for me, other than the one known truth that on 9.8.2018, I will be gaining a husband, another set of parents & siblings and another last name…. Because really, one just isn’t enough sometimes…